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That redneck tassel dissed you, all dressed up in duds bought at JCPenny [Dec. 31st, 2005|11:33 am]
Sitting Bull loved to chill out. His nickname, Hunkesi, literally means "slow." Though he loved to take it easy, he always managed to kick some cracker ass when he needed to. During one early battle, he walked into enemy fire, sat down, and casually smoked a phatty. He walked away unharmed. He was one deck wally.

- Hipster Handbook.
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You're bringing out the Elvis in ME [May. 13th, 2005|03:20 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]



Crazy4Deer: Hey

AiLLatInEg: hey... who is this?

Crazy4Deer: you know how deer are crazy?

AiLLatInEg: um... sure!?

Crazy4Deer: well, its kind of like how i'm crazy for you

AiLLatInEg: i hate deer

Crazy4Deer: i am a deer


at this point i stopped talking to him... then he sent me this link

so in response, i sent this


Crazy4Deer: you're a bad person

Crazy4Deer has signed off at 2:47:13 PM

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Looking Beyond the Ivy League [May. 8th, 2005|06:21 pm]
[mood |predatoryi hunt deer]

Reasons why i love my dad: (on Mother's Day)

1. Because when my sister and i told him: "Dad, your testicles give us nightmares" he responded...
"My testicles gave you life."

2. Because on spring break he walked out in his khaki shorts (while groping his butt) and said, "I have such a fat little ass."

3. Because he shares my passion to buy a rifle and kill all the idiots in this world.

and for those of you who are wondering.... i am working on my continuation of my musical "The Other Cheek." Any suggestions are welcome!

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(no subject) [Mar. 21st, 2005|03:34 pm]
[mood |crazyYAY]
[music |nouma nouma]

if this doesnt' make you happy, i don't know what will...


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Is this not why you are here? [Feb. 23rd, 2005|03:26 pm]
[mood |energeticentertained]

Do you want rice with that?

So Sweet, So Beauuuutiful

Kuala Lumpar

and... i often wish My Nipples were able to do this.


In the words of Maximus Decimus Meridias:



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i like girls that wear abercrombie & fitch [Feb. 13th, 2005|03:40 pm]
[mood |artisticartistic]

First off, Sir Banshee (see previous post) is now officially my icon. I know, brilliant.

Secondly, i feel the need to mock the rest of the LJ community by posting this: If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must comment with a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you.

Thirdly, just to prove to everyone how much of a 5 year old i am, click here. turn your volume up! Your theory will be proven correct.

and.... "these are the moments you wish you had a rifle." how was that for emo? tools.


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Celtic Death Messangers [Feb. 6th, 2005|06:04 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |Sir Banshee Theme Song]

Definition of Banshee: (noun) ban- shE, Irish bean sídhe & Scottish Gaelic bean sìth, literally, woman of fairyland

So, Colleen has a fantasy literature project on Banshees. As she was looking for a picture of one, she Googled "Banshee" and on the 20th page of results, she found this man. We thought to ourselves:

  • Why does this man qualify as a Banshee?
  • Why are there more than 20 pages of results for "Banshee?"
  • Furthermore, why are most of these pictures of Spanish men or planes?

* while viewing the "Sir Banshee" please pay careful attention to the music playing in the background.

P.S. Does anyone speak Spanish that would be willing to translate the site for me?

P.P.S. I really wanted to make this my icon but the Man Banshee had too many pixels dammit

P.P.P.S. If anyone knows the answers to our questions stated above, please share them.

P.P.P.P.S. We aren't sure who the woman next to the man is. Once again, if you know the answer, don't hesitate to respond.

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niiice [Jan. 30th, 2005|09:10 pm]
[mood |dirtydirty]

Your Penis Name is: 100% All-beef Thermometer

...kinda makes you wonder. damn straight.
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Wolfe household habits (about TP) [Jan. 17th, 2005|10:34 pm]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]

*while reading this entry, please keep in mind that i am in the guest room on the computer, right next to the bathroom, and Colleen doesn't hear well.

Colleen: "ALLLLLLIE"
Allie: "WHAT?"
... 3 mintues pass

Colleen: "ALLIEEEE"
Allie: "WHAT do you want?"
no response

4 minutes later
Allie: "Colleen, what do you want?"

2 minutes later
Colleen: "i need toilet paper."
Allie: "look under the toilet"

1 minute later
Colleen: "ALLIEE" - thinking i had gone downstairs to get some rolls
Colleen: "I NEED toilet paper."
Allie: "under the toilet."
Colleen: "its not there."
Allie: "no, under the actual toilet"
Colleen: "Oh."

10 minutes later - problem solved.
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seriously read this [Jan. 3rd, 2005|07:58 pm]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

alright, so i am determined to write a broadway musical called "The Other Cheek." isn't that a great name for a musical? here's a little somethin' somethin' to give you an idea.

Opening Song: The Original Cheek

(starts to the tune of The Little Mermaid song about her collection -- name?)

This is my cheek
Yes, this is my cheek
Isn't it chique?
Wouldn't you think my face is complete?
Wouldn't you think i'm the girl,
the girl with the perfect cheek?

(turns her face to reveal her other cheek)

But I'm not,
Look at this rot.
It's eaten up an entire spot

(changes to the tune of "On My Own" - Les Mis)

...on my cheek,
pretending its not there.
All alone, this cheek is all alone.
In the darkness, you can not really tell,
But everywhere i feel them stare,
That cheek is like a stranger.

(changes tune to opening song of Songs for a New World)

A new cheek, is all i want.
A new cheek, brings a new life.
A new cheek calls to my face,
Waiting there, waiting there

It's about one cheek,
That one cheek that is really rotting.
Just when you think no one can see,
You see their eyes.

And though its suddenly a stranger,
On a completely different face

(changes tune to "I Just Can't Wait to be King" - Lion King)

... oh i just can't wait for a cheek.
No one sayin' "ew, gross."
No one sayin' "what's that?"
No one havin' to see rot,
Finally gonna be hot.
It won't rot away all day,
It's gonna be replaced!!!

*this is my latest work. any critique would be appreciated.

-- written while on the metro, my inspiration
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